Why I hate girls with straight hair

• Their hair never feels like cotton candy, even if they're camping in the middle of a rainforest
• People don't shove pencils in their hair and bet how long it'll take for the first one to fall out
• Combs do not get lost in their hair, and they never have to stand before the Ladies Common Room mirror, patiently trying to rescue the helpless comb, while surrounded by dozens of giggling women
• Casually running their fingers through their hair while flirting doesn't involve an awkward 2-minute break, trying to free the said fingers from violent curls
• When the wind blows through their hair, they rustle and billow sexily, instead of stubbornly refusing to do anything of the sort
• When they leave their hair loose, it doesn't look like an invasion of other people's personal space
• Wash-and-go is more than just an instruction on the shampoo bottle - it's a way of life
• When they try to sexily remove a pair of sunglasses hitherto perched on the head, the entire effect isn't spoilt by the said sunglasses getting tangled in the hair and messing up the already messed-up hairdo
• They're never referred to as "the hair on the front bench with the girl attached"
• 4 out of 5 men prefer women whose hair doesn't look like its counterbalancing the rest of their body mass

On the upside, there's always that one out of those five. On the flipside, it's usually the one who got away.