Born To Be Wild-ish

You know how you have this idea of what something's supposed to be / feel like? When I was in college, I thought being in college was all about hanging out with friends, doing fun things like watching movies, lazing around in the canteen, drinking at house parties, bunking lectures and giving proxy attendance to those who managed to do the above things when I didn't.

Yes, I was quite vanilla that way I suppose. Also mobile phones weren't common then and the "internets" had just entered our lives. (I'm going to stop now because I feel about 90.)

A decade later, I realise that college would've, could've, should've been much, much more than that.

It could've been about wearing short skirts and dating inappropriate boys. It should've been about sitting behind said boys fearlessly, as they zoomed their bikes at irresponsible speeds through the city, the wind in your hair as you texted your friends that you were on your way to the crazy-assed party they were throwing. It could've been about smoky night-clubs and loud music and alcohol in disproportionate amounts.

I did do some of those things in Poona, I admit, but somehow, it wasn't... perfect. I was too scared of the speeding after my multiple accidents riding as pillion behind the Assholy Ex. I was too scared of drinking because I'd been convinced by him that there was a creep around the corner waiting to take advantage of me. I was too scared of staying out late because my parents would call and scold me for being irresponsible. I was too scared of having what could've been the best time of my life.

I realised this on Friday while sitting behind my colleague on his Enfield Bullet as we speeded from Goregaon to Mahalaxmi. I was gripping his jacket tightly, shutting my eyes to the wind and the speed, praying we wouldn't crash. He deftly maneuvered the bike through traffic, taking no unnecessary risks and when I told him I was shit scared he turned and said, "Don't worry, I won't let you fall."

That's when it hit me: this guy was not that guy. This time wouldn't be like last time. Because this me isn't the me from ten years ago.

This me was wearing a miniskirt (admittedly with leggings, it IS winter you know), drinking wonderfully cheap booze and headbanging slightly to Guns n' Roses. This me was standing on a chair to much cheering and adding to the graffitti on the ceiling of The Ghetto. This me had tried both responsible and irresponsible, had enjoyed both and grown up. And while this me wasn't in college anymore, that was okay. You know why? Well, for starters, this me didn't have acne or braces to deal with...

Comments

Anonymous said…
Hey I liked the way you dealt with this. I'm married now but deadlines aren't dead still :)
which college were you in?
Mystique said…
you put a lot of pressure on a college girl.


And hey, it's winter? really? I didn't notice!
R said…
Winter? You mean, Bombay? at 26°C?
Right.

Do you ever feel strange about calling yourself grown up?
ramya sriram said…
:) just got out of college and thought that it's all over. ha, not yet, it looks like.
Veda said…
Anonymous and ramya: As the Nike guys puts, just do it and all.

Prince of Mirkwood: Take a guess :)

Mystique: That's right, now drop and give me 10 shots of tequila, missy! Also, YEAH it's winter... erm... at night and stuff.

R: Yes, yes, I get it, you're from Delhi and virtually snowed in. And no, I don't feel strange about calling myself grown-up... just... wistful.
sanely insane said…
Aah yes the years of conflict and the years where you find yourself...

my take on it...better to have come through conflict and then found yourself...rather than having been a particular kind all through life...because u never know life may test you at a later stage in life...and you may just not b ready then
Shirke said…
Sometimes, I look back to my college years and think - "If I knew then what I know now";

- I *would* have dated a lot more women.
- I *would* have smoked a lot more dope.
- I *would* have taken life a lot less seriously.

While on the one hand not doing the aforementioned didn't make for a wild college life - I was more of a debater you see - on the other hand (and there always is another hand in this ambidextrous universe of ours), it gave me a lot more to look forward to - the love of my life, my brief and disturbingly recurrent substance abuse trips to Goa and the abject lack of seriousness with which I approach each new day (making it altogether bearable).

But that's just it - I didn't know then what I know now...I was never meant to.
Anonymous said…
@Veda

Yeah right! Earlier I had just 1 set of parents to deal with and now it just doubled. Wow! I do follow the Nike guys most of the times and it does feel like college yippeeeeeee! haha!

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